Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist Hardcover – November 24, 2015

This book is incredible and the research and time that went into piecing all of this info together is truly an accomplishment. To finally make narc behavior easy to recognise has already started saving me many painful interactions bc I now know this is a sickness on their part and to not engage with it. This book also gave me a huge benefit in finding peace with all the turmoil my narc had caused. My favorite part that helped me the most was this quiz thing in there to better guage just how narky a narc may be… mine got a very very very high score… and so anyway… like Dr Ramani's recent book "It's Not You", this book helps ya understand the details of that. It's well written and an easy read, but emotionally, for me anyway, it was a hard read just bc I had to finally face the truth and stop making excuses for my loved one's behavior. Definitely caused a lot of childhood flashbacks even tho it's written more for romantic or business relations, so be ready to possibly have old memories re-surface. But, it's a healing journey and I feel like after this book as tho a huge heavy burden has been removed from me. As tho now all the confusion and pain has lifted and disappeared. It took time, but understanding it made it easier to set the pain down and say, "I don't need you anymore. I now know the truth." And then just keep it movin. Binge watching Dr R's YouTube channel helps a lot in the healing process too. Just to have that voice of sanity keeping you from running back into the same old problems.

I’m serious. If you find yourself in toxic patterns, feeling like you’re not enough in a relationship despite everything you do to make it better or right, feeling confused or disheartened, or repeating the same patterns over and over in relationships that suck the life out of you and end poorly this book is for you. It might explain what you are going through and how to cope, and it offers good advice beyond “just leave them!” because realistically not everyone can do that easily.I think the book, though not intended as such, can help see family dynamics that led to ending up in these relationships. What you grew up in might be what you are replicating.Anyway. Well written, deep, thoughtful, and thought provoking. Even if you are not in these sort of relationships it can help understand a friend, a family member, or a loved one that is and how to interact with them and their situation.Highly recommended, Dr. Ramani is a wealth of knowledge.

If you're in the mist, fumbling to find why your partner is on and off, hot and cold, close and distanced, this book will help. It's lengthy contextual explanations take the reader by the hand in a living way to exhibit some of the most difficult definitions you will read. Not difficult intellectually, but you may get ready upon realising how they apply to your life.If you've left, you're going to find clarity here, and encouragement. Reading this will dredge up all sorts of memories you forgot you had, whether about a bad relationship, or from childhood.I have read many books about narcissism, and raising children, this one really brings all of the others together for me, and I'd like a lens, focusing all of the parts at once. Had I not read all the other material the book may not have had the emotional impact it did, but the information which is so wonderfully explained and lovingly presented, will help you see your own value.The reading of the audio book is good. However, the recording is more quiet than it should be, and many times sentences have been re-recorded and dropped in, sometimes mid-paragraph: no effort for a consistent room sound or distance from the mic has been made. This does not detract from the message.The book may appear to be about narcissism, but it is very much directed at, and focused on helping the reader to love themselves, and to relearn self care, in the face of, or the recovery from being with a narcissistic partner.Whether you are a survivor wanting to avoid picking another narcissistic partner, or you're a friend or family member wanting to understand and better-relate to a survivor - and what they have been through - this is an enlightening and vulnerability-creating read.

Very helpful, practical, pragmatic advice, that was given clearly.I understand myself and my ex after reading this. Thank you!

It provided carefully worded examples of narcissistic behavior, and data supporting whether this personality issue can improve or not. This should facilitate decision-making about retaining that relationship, or letting it go for emotional health sake.

Dr. Ramani could have been in my marriage or in my Therapist’s chair. She understands narcissistic behavior from all sides and takes the reader through different scenarios. She doesn’t advise whether to stay or go. Like any good therapist, she leaves that decision up to the individual. But she shows what the outcomes of each choice might be. This book is well worth the read even if the choice has already been made because it helps the reader to understand what they have been experiencing and that they are not alone.

I have been with a narcissist for 9 years, I finally left and this book helped me identify patterns. Leaving him was hard but allowing him to continue to treat me terribly was too much. I have two children with him and I couldn’t not risk my girls thinking his behavior was acceptable

I thought I got a new book!

Bought this book as a gift to provide insight into Narcissism. Was much appreciated.

Un testo eccezionale e completo sul narcisismo. Veramente ottimo

Interesting reading giving awareness of why people do what they do with this condition .

Helped me let go when nothing else did. I read it over and over when I am down. I need to, often.

Wer einen offensichtlich narzisstischen Partner hat, leidet. Ob dieser seinerseits ein „Opfer“ ist, wahrscheinlich ja, oder ob er aufgrund früher Erfahrungen das vermeidende Bindungsverhalten zeigt, oder ob diese ganze Beziehung eine PTBS hervorbringt, bei dem, der leidet und zu „retten“ versucht und ohne Ende hofft. Alles richtig.Man kann die Problematik des leidenden Partners über Trauma-Bewältigung angehen, im amerikanischen, christlich geprägten Umfeld steht abschließende Vergebung des „Übeltäters“ an, um angeblich frei zu kommen und nicht weiter in Emotionen festzuhängen.Die Situation ist aber oft die, Schuld oder Nicht-Schuld, dass jemand mit guten Absichten über Jahre, wenn nicht Jahrzehnte sein Gegenüber emotional „gesponsert“ hat, das ihn verbraucht und zerstört, verachtet und vernachlässigt zurückläßt - ausgelaugt, ohne Perspektive, demoralisiert, hoffnungslos, oft betrogen, seines Vertrauens in Menschen und Beziehungen beraubt.Dies Buch ist sicher ein „Schokoriegel“, ein Energielieferant für die, die geglaubt haben, dass sich ihre Liebe irgendwann in Gegenseitigkeit auszahlt, dass es besser, anders werden würde, wenn sie nur mehr geben würden. Es konfrontiert einen mit der Tatsache: NEIN.Und es zeigt auch die Lösung: sie liegt allein in einem selbst. Das hört sich erstmal einsam an, ist aber auch ein Glück, denn über mein Leben habe ich Verfügungsgewalt im Gegensatz zu der Beziehung, die mir zusetzt.Das Buch ist eine sehr einfühlsame Verteidigung des Partners eines Narzissten, der sich oft bis in die Grundfesten seiner Persönlichkeit in Frage gestellt fühlt. Es gibt einem Antworten, die man so lange vermisst hat, erklärt das Unverständliche. Ich finde auch, es ist ein absolutes „must read“.Narzissten sind in der Regel beratungsresistent, kaum änderbar, sie sind eine Konstante, die der Partner nicht beeinflussen kann, es geht nicht darum, sie „schlecht“ zu machen, es geht darum, ihre Partner aus der schädlichen Verstrickung zu befreien, in die sie zu Beginn hineingezogen wurden (Verliebtheit), aber in die sie sich auch selbst, mit bestimmten Grundannahmen gebracht haben.Es ist ein warmherziger „Augenöffner“, wie ich finde, eins der besten Bücher für Partner von Narzissten, sehr umfassend. Und natürlich ist man nach so einer „Beziehungssause“ sensibilisiert für narzisstische Charakterzüge. Aber die Autorin weist selbst darauf hin, dass in gewissen Ausmaß narzisstische Anteile normal sind.Es geht um das Gesamtbild der Beziehung.