The Dominance Playbook: Ways to Play With Power in Scenes and Relationships

Listened to this on audible and then bought a hard copy to be able to reference back. Covered lots of topics other D/s books don’t. Great read.

My partner and I were together 14 years when my need to submit to him became unbearable. We had dabbled in D/s before - the trust was there, but we couldn't seem to find the spark or the inertia to keep going. Most attempts ended in tears or misunderstanding. After a brief and unpleasant period wherein I suspected I was simply not submitting well enough, we came to the unhappy conclusion that my partner was ambivilant about domming in general, and wasn't yet sure how to make his own personal desires known. This book lifted that fog just about immediately. Within hours of enthusiastically purchasing and reading this book and its predecessor, my partner's eyes lit up. Within days he was testing the waters with simple requests which I could easily refuse but which had a commanding quality to them I had never heard before. My heart swooned. "I understand it now," my partner said. "I had been thinking of things too narrowly." Fulmen's prose is not only accessible and comforting to troubled would-be doms, but there is a wealth of information for impatient subs like me who might not exactly have been playing nice, either! He explores the different emotional and psychological frames that might make up the world of D/s to such a granular degree that even couples who have been together as long as we have can find where we've been missing one another and feel confident that there is plenty of ground yet to explore. Despite such wealth of detail, it is an easily and titillating read (even for my dear budding dom, who has self-professed attention issues). Thank you, Anton, for your insight and knowledge. We have definitely crossed into a new and exciting phase of our relationship.

This book was a wonderful sampler eith bits if information regarding all kinds of D/s dynamics. Highly recommend to those who want to explore more. I would have given 5 stars if Ch. 9 was a bit more clear about punishment from more modern behavioral perspectives some conceptual things were incorrect about modern behavioral principles but unless you are a behaviorist these nuances may not be obvious. However, all other information surrounding punishment was pretty spot on and seemed informed from basic principles of behavior.

A dense well written account of a lot of kink and lifestyle types. A lot of information for the curious. Biggest takeaway is communication is the key to everything.

Excellent must have text for anyone interested in exploring power exchange dynamics. Very through and ethical and informative. Even if you think you are “experienced” you will learn some valuable tips - especially in terms of negotiating and defining successful power exchange or kinky relationships.

It's really a great book. All too often, the authors of such books claim "expert" status and then just write pages and pages on their perspectives-which are *still* just opinions. This title looks at the roles, practices, terms, highlights, and also dangers associated with D/s (My preferred term) and power exchange dynamics from an objective (as in the opposite of subjective 😉) standpoint. The author relates anecdotal advice/experiences, but only ever as a means of illustrating a case in point for a given topic. The author, unlike many others on the topic, has written this book to clarify, inform, and help enhance one's ability/enjoyment of D/s, not to glorify his own ego or to pontificate on tangential issues. I HIGHLY recommend reading this, if only to understand your motivation/role more clearly and to bolster your understanding and enjoyment of power exchange type relationship dynamics. This is NOT a work of fiction, btw...

not a great read, wouldn't buy again

Building on The Heart of Dominance, but certainly standing on its own, this read completes your basic foundational knowledge of D/s relationships.

I bought the book with no expectation other than "Dominance Playbook" to mostly contain thoughts and philosophy around power play coming from the dominant perspective. As a European reader, I also expected a rather anecdotal, action laden writing style given the author being American. The book vastly surpassed my modest expectations. The author writes pragmatically, sparing the reader fluffy but shallow stories. The book touches a wide variety of points but always includes a submissive perspective and line of thinking where fitting and always argues from a point of continuous consent, mental safety, differentiation between power play and abuse and self-development as the end goal to all practices. In doing so, it includes references to other relationship related psychology (Gottmann and others) and sensibly shows where taboo or difficult topics such as ones own body image can cross power play and what to look out for in order to not burn and crash by going to quickly. This book will serve as a reference piece I'll often get back to for many years to come. Reading and listening to the audio book were often accompanied with intense note taking and served as an excellent basis for deep reflection for ones own life and practice. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone, dominant or submissive.