Where is the Mango Princess? A Journey Back from Brain Injury

Where is the Mango Princess? is a truly touching but tragic account of Traumatic Brian Injury (TBI) and its impact on a family. As much as I respect Anne Lamont, I wonder at her comment, at least as it appears on the book cover blurb, that this is a story of `recovery.' What exactly has been recovered? And how redemptive has this been in the lives of Cathy Crimmins and her husband Alan? Surely Cathy has had to address her once `hands-off' approach to marriage and has chosen to become a truly sacrificial wife, in the process shedding much of the enlightened independence she had so highly prized. In this way, she has somehow backed into a richer `covenantal' attitude to her husband (reflected in the traditional vows she, no doubt, took). She is living much more for him, even when he does not appreciate it, realize it, or have as much to offer in return. The picture is sad but beautiful, and highly instructive. Her world is a far more blessed place as a result of her response to this tragedy.And yet, has she `recovered?' What exactly did she `lose' and what does she have back now? Her `wellness?' Her `humanity?' Maybe it is his that is recovered? I am not sure. Because her beautiful story remains largely fruitless for her life. After much struggle, she has learned to `cope.' Her story, filled with potential power, is ultimately a lovely tragedy.This is instructive to anyone who might seek to care for someone who has suffered TBI and to their family. I have ministered to a few, and wish I had read in advance the Mango Princess (particularly through the lens of chapter 5 of Edward Welch's Blame it on the Brain). I think of one person in particular. Looking back I realize neither he nor I coped with the results of his injury adequately. I did not really understand the ways his injury legitimately impacted her, because it was clear that he was being so willfully selfish and hurtful. And he in turn wanted to blame his sin completely on his injury. The big issue I wish I had seen better in the past: his TBI did create some very significant hidden weaknesses that needed to be recognized and accounted for in trying to help his deal with his struggles.Families in these circumstances face special heart obstacles, as Crimmins so thoughtfully illustrates. Like Alan, the victims very often heal outwardly in a short time, causing the families frustration at not seeing a similar recovery in their mental, emotional and behavioral issues. He is walking again; he is talking again; his wound is healed up; he looks all better; so why can't he start acting more like he used to? He's not a vegetable, and he can seem like his `old self' sometimes, so why does he have to acts so impulsive or socially inappropriate? Why is his sense of humor so `weird?' Why doesn't he respond to things the way we used to (reasoning, prayer)? And if so, why can't they just do some surgery or give him a pill that will `fix' him?The real physical impact of the injury needs to be understood if the mundane duties of living are to be carried forward, and if the heart of the person and his family and friends are to be challenged to greater spiritual maturity. Perhaps the hardest thing to grapple with (something Crimmins seems to miss) is the truth that the best explanation of post-injury behavior is pre-injury character (See Ed Welch, p. 90). Welch suggests the difficult but potentially liberating truth that the injury can act as `truth serum' to its victims. It can be deeply discouraging, but it also can be redemptively potent as people gain more open access to what was truly in the person's heart all along.TBI calls for special care and love. A superficial attitude by loved ones can unwittingly contribute to the complex problems.Crimmins provides a very thoughtful, sensitive, moving (if somewhat unsatisfying) account of her own deep experience.

As the wife of another TBI survivor, I found myself nodding in understanding, with tears of shared memories sliding down my cheeks, over and over as I read this book.My husband was nearly killed when a large birch tree he was felling on our property 'kicked back' and swatted him like a fly. Like Al, he was air-lifted, close to death, to the nearest hospital trauma unit ... where I experienced much the same minute by minute, day by day nightmare Cathy describes so well.The first hours, wondering if your husband will live or die ... days that feel like weeks, weeks that feel like months. And then reality hits ... rehab is a battle not only for the TBI survivor, struggling to swallow, speak or sit up, but for the caregiver as they fight equally hard for every benefit, every extra day of covered services ... along with the constant trauma and stress of wondering what the future will bring.They call a severe TBI a 'life-altering event' for good reason. it forever alters the life of not only the survivor but of their main caregivers as well. This is a well written book, full of the realities of life with a TBI survivor, without exaggeration.

I bought this book on the advice of one of my husbands neuro doctors when my husband was in the hospital being treated for TBI. Although the book is easy to read and very interesting, it did not provide information or help for me as every persons TBI is completely different from another persons even if the injury is in the same or similar location so it is completely individual. There are so many varying factors with this type injury that it is a learning experience that is highly individual and will be an ongoing journey for most with outcomes completely variable person to person. My husband spent 4 1/2 months in a trauma hospital with 2 months of it in their intense rehab program and he is home and doing incredibly well considering the injuries and surgeries he has had. The main difference with our experience, and the family in this book, is that we are believers in God who heals and restores as we pray and believe, just as when Jesus was on earth! Although this is the hardest experience we have ever gone through, every detail has worked out incredibly well and we can only attribute this to our God and the power of prayer. To anyone going through this journey I would recommend reading/studying all you can read from current and reliable information and from websites for TBI where you can get helpful and usable information.

I went ahead and bought a used copy of this book for school due to it being a fraction of the price. Typically, used/ rented books are a hit or miss but this one ended up working out! 10/10 recommend (:

This was one of four books that I had to read for an Intro to Communications Disorders class that I took last semester. I was pleasantly surprised what a good read it was. After reading this book I checked into my insurance to see how much coverage I would have for accidents like this one. It also made me think about how fragile life is and how your life can turn on a dime. The brain is complex and vulnerable to trauma both externally and internally. The book also helped me to communicate with my husband about these kinds of accidents. If your language center gets damaged then you can't communicate. I told him that if that happened to either one of us then one really helpful piece of advice is to find a book such as this to see whats going on in the injured person's head. I really appreciate that people take the time to write about their experiences even very traumatic ones such as this.

I had to buy this book for school, but it is so good I would have read it anyway! It is about a family's journey after a traumatic brain injury. It is very easy to read and the author tells the story very well. Would definitely recommend reading this book, especially if you are curious about TBI.

Having personally suffered a brain haemorrhage and all the after effects which follow, I've learned that the use of humour is essential. 'Where is the Mango Princess', for me, encapsulates all the same emotions of dread : relief : frustration, (& so much more) which result from any serious head injury. But this is not a dismal story. It's a gutsy, no holds barred. often laugh-out-loud-amusing account of a wife's heroic attempts to cope with home, work, child, finances, whilst supporting a critically injured husband.Cathy Crimmins had a natural talent for conveying all these emotions so succinctly, and with no self-pity or gratuitous horror, of her husband's truly devastating accident which resulted in his life-threatening brain injury.This book clearly demonstrates how, in severe brain injury cases, the partner is cast, overnight, into the role of caring for a complete stranger with a whole new personality in which lack of inhibition is a serious issue, along with loss of empathy, and even the most basic skills.This is a rollercoaster journey from a happy family holiday to the depths of despair, many months of rehab and many more of trying to accept a strange new life for everyone involved.A marvellous book : I recommend it to anyone/everyone !

I was recommended this book after attending a two day conference on brain injury rehabilitation.As a Specialist Social Worker in a community brain injury rehabilitation centre I have both a professional and personal interest in this subject area. I was particularly pleased that this was an account from a 'Carers' perspective describing the journey though rehabilitation and recovery from an angle that sometimes gets overlooked.Brain injury (in this case, traumatic brain injury) is often referred to as a 'hidden disability'. That is that there may be no overt physical effects but things may be very different cognitively. It is often the seemingly trivial things, the every day differences, and the personality that a loved one will notice but the outside world wouldn't necessarily.This book focuses on a families journey thorough traumatic brain injury from the acute stage, community and into independence. It talks openly about the personal frustrations. Loss. Grief. The barriers. The insurance companies. And the elation. A roller coaster of emotions if ever there were one. It is a fascinating and honest insight into brain injury and the effects on ones family unit. Highly recommended to everyone, brain injury professional or not.

Fast delivery. Just started to read, so far so good - saw it referred to in The book "Touching Distance" by James Cracknell and Beverley Turner - These books have set me thinking about brain injury issue following my brain surgery for meningioma a year ago.

A very honest and heart breaking account of life after Traumatic Brain Injury.My overwhelming feeling while reading this though was sadness for the daughter who was only 7 when it happened to her Dad. As a mum of a daughter the same age i find it impossible to imagine not keeping her close rather leaving her for extended lengths of time with others. So sad

My brother has suffered a brain injury this year and my family were at a loss how to deal with his recovery from it.This book is a very open insightful journey through the life of a wife whose husband had suffered a severe brain trauma injury after a ski boat accident .I laughed and I cried but it really helped me in dealing with all the emotions of having someone you love go through such a traumatic injury .