The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Many reviews state that this book victim blames, so I was a bit hesitant going into it. My therapist recommended it, though. I can see how people assume there is victim blaming, but it truly is not. I think if you are rooted in God, you won't interpret it even close to victim blaming. The book focuses on healing with & through Christ as the center of our lives. Our sin is NOT in what happened to us, and I feel the author makes that abundantly clear, but rather how we don't run to God as we heal. This book was a huge help in processing the past abuse when repressed memories started coming back to me. No abuse is ever your fault. The chapters the author walks through were quite fascinating and therapeutic. I definitely recommend the workbook and finding someone to go through it with you.

So there are two books this is the one you want to start with, the workbook also it helps with the journey. May God give you grace as you proceeded.You are not alone.

Using this in professional counseling practice along with the companion workbook of same name. The compassion that Dr. Allender has for his readers his palpable while reading. Having my sexual abuse survivors go through this as part of our sessions has been wonderful. While the material isn't part of my own story, it's helped me see with greater clarity the struggle of someone who has to deal with the aftermath of sexual abuse every day. I loved the author's book "Cry of the Soul" and expected great things from this book too- it didn't disappoint.

This book was recommended to me through a podcast that I listened to from a popular Christian author and speaker. I picked up the book as I was entering into a new season of healing from my own childhood victimization. I had received extensive therapy a few years before, but like many on the healing journey, found myself back on the road of recovery after thinking I had it all together. That being said, I read this book after having dealt with a lot of the initial shock and family drama of talking about childhood abuse as an adult. The book was one of the hardest I've ever read. But please understand, it was WORTH it! I screamed, I cried, I threw my kindle across the room a few times. I put it away for a month before finishing it at least. I was mad and glad all at the same time. It was tough to digest but IMPORTANT to do so. I can see how it would be very difficult for someone just starting the healing journey. I would say maybe don't let this be your initial jump into healing- and definitely be pursuing either group or individual therapy at the same time so you can safely process.After finally finishing the book, I could look back and appreciate the journey. It propelled me deeper into my own healing. As a Christian I believe voices like Dan Allender's need to be heard because there can be such an emphasis in evangelical Christian culture on forgive and forget, that victims of childhood abuses (physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, etc) can feel marginalized and like a bad Christian for secretly dealing with unforgiveness, healing, and restoration. For me, I did not want to read anything that told me I had to forgive my perpetrator and then restore relationship with him. I found that this book helped me walk out the journey so that forgiveness was on the table again, but it did not mean that relationship was open again. I'm in a Sexual Abuse Survivor's Group and many of us have read this and Door of Hope by Jan Frank. Both are great for the journey.

The Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allender is, as you might expect, a very heavy book. Dr. Allender’s profession and his book are borne out of great pain from his own childhood abuse and his great concern for others.The Wounded Heart is a psychological analysis of the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. He addresses many facets of the effect it has on the victim’s heart and the difficulties victims face. He discusses the great problem victims have with trust—both with people and with God. “The devilishness of abuse is that it does Satan’s work of deceiving children about God’s true nature and encouraging them to mistrust Him.”He delves into the importance of facing one’s horrible memories and working through them. Dr. Allender makes the statement, “The wise course is to focus on who we are now.”Dr. Allender emphasizes the value of counseling. Most victims of abuse need help with working through their attitudes and also with their spiritual growth, which go hand-in-hand. I appreciate especially his last section about how to give victims hope. He says, “The most common error in some Christian groups is to ignore the problem or offer true solutions in a trite way.” He emphasizes the complexity of each individual’s experiences and problems. “Those who desire to honor God and the redemptive work of Christ must embrace both the simplicity and the complexity that exists in the problem and the solution. . . . When we move toward loving God and others, we can be sure that something radical and supernatural has intruded to alter the process of self-centered stagnation and decay. Change is always a process.”Allender speaks of faith, decisions, hope, and trusting God.This is a very complete work, by far the heaviest work I’ve read on the subject of abuse and overcoming. The first three-fourths of The Wounded Heart are about the damage and reactions to abuse. This first part is complicated and technical. The last part of the book offers hope and healing.I would recommend The Wounded Heart to anyone who counsels, especially people in Christian ministry. We must no longer ignore the signs of abuse and be ignorant of the questions to ask the people we counsel. We need to know how to walk them through the healing process. I believe this is a helpful and instructive reference book.

I have a degree in pastoral ministry and am a counselor. I found this book to be very helpful for those who have been abused, those who deal with shame and contempt, those who have had trauma and those who are in the helping fields. If there has been severe abuse in your life or you are highly sensitive and compassionate towards others’ pain, it is difficult to get through in some areas.

Totally recommend the book. It came in a very good condition. Really good for the price.

Amazing. I strongly recommend this book to all who have been a victim, or are dealing with someone who has been abused or are still facing this hell. It won’t be an easy journey but it’s worth it. The author has a wonderful way of making things clear and understandable.

This books is absolutely beautiful

Hope in the midst of a difficult and unfortunately common scenario. Recommended for every matured family member, schools, churches, etc.

I would not recommend this book because it views the entire issue exclusively from a Christian and very limited perspective.