Can women wear these shorts? Should we go buy our hip size instead of our waist size?

The size for women is not really the problem. The size is commensurate with other women sizing. My wife is 64” 130#. She wears the medium. The problem is that women’s ski pants are tailored for the “butt” to look good. These padded shorts take up a lot of pant room. So the issue is getting your pants OVER these shorts. The padded shorts are fantastic! They breath well and provide protection in all of the right spots. My wife liked them so much that she switched to board pants which provide more space. If you backcountry ski or even just off-piste, these provide earth and protection really well.

Do these have an insert for a cup?

No, and there isn't any padding in the front. You'll need to wear a cup under these if you need one.

Would these be good for paintball?

These would be okay for paintball. They have protection on the sides if you plan on sliding with extra protection on your butt if you mess up your slide. The only issue would be is that there is no crotch protection so if you get shot down there it would hurt a lot but if you’re okay with that then these are a good option. If you do want crotch protection I would recommend either the Carbon SC Pro Bottom (these are pants) or if you just want a shorts version get the HK Army Crash Slider Shorts. I do not recommend exalt since the padding areas are a little small.