Surviving A Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
Product ID: 289967513
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Surviving a Borderline Parent is the first step-by-step guide for adult children of parents with borderline personality disorder.Between 6 and 10 million people in the US suffer from borderline personality disorder. This book teaches adult children how to overcome the devastating effects of growing up with a parent who suffers from BPD.Although relatively common, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it.Symptoms of this problem include unpredictability, violence and uncontrollable anger, deep depression and self-abuse. Parents with BPD are often unable to provide for the basic physical and emotional needs of their children. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be their caretakers. They may burden even very young children with adult responsibilities.If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder. Discover specific coping strategies for dealing with issues common to children of borderline parents: low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity. Make the major decision whether to confront your parent about his or her condition. Review: Good follow up to anyone who has identified a parent as a narcissist - This book has been great! It is the closing chapter on my irritation and misery on this subject. This book has provided me with closure, it took me 33 years to put a name to this UGLY FACE. But I never stopped researching. And that is so important. This is an extremely well written book that does not bog you down with a bunch of clinical terms. It definately served to validate my current emotions, crazy childhood, and gave me the words to describe my fragmented teenage years. I mean this book is literaly a fairy GODmother to anyone looking for guidance and advice on such a complex issue. It covers everything from how others will react to you sharing this information, from grieving to dealing with anger and resentment. This book really shows you how to move out of the mindset of a victim or feeling like the bad person to allowing you to see that you are none of those things; you just had to put up with some overwhleming circumstances. I have coupled this book with counseling twice a month and I feel like a brand new person in just a few months. Now I am living my dreams, because I was able to clear the mental blockage and go forward. The excercises are great, but don't stop reading, just bc you have not completed them. For me, I have been journaling for about 3 years heavy now, so many of the journaling activities were things I had already discussed with myself, so I was able to just read straight through and do some activities that felt neccessary! My mother is BDP and I just remember feeling angry, frozen, misunderstood, and emotionally ran down during my teenage years. I put others before me, I was always in the midst of confusion she caused at church or in her circles. She would look to me like I knew what to do all the time? She was very lonely and always making me sad with a focus on very negative things. She was always looking for sympathy and attention. I felt like someone took the best years of my life, so I went to college, got a good job months later, and never came back home to live (although in state). I am blessed to be a successful woman with really nice things and a new outlook on life using my creative side now. I gave up being overly responsible for others, putting people first, denying my own needs, learned some boundaries with people, and dealt with love addiction issues. I'm single and better off now that I have worked on me, and I'm ready to move into other areas of my life. Considering marriage and kids as I avoided that just because I never felt like I never had my own life fully until now. My heart has been opened. I do not feel like I have to pretend to have everything under control, I am happy to say that I don't know things. I am happy that I conduct myself as "the adult" with my mother and I am no longer angry, overly sensitive, and baffled by her tricks/lies. I have become a model and leader to my family and friends just by learning how to react to my mother's nonsense instead of letting it get the Best of me. I am still working on forgiveness, but at this point in my life I am managing and GOD has bought back the years of my childhood! Please! If you have a parent(s) that wears you down with guilt, in their own world, suffers from any type of addiction, this book will show you how to begin to parent yourself, and get you past your knee jerk reactions and confusion! GOD BLESS YOU and I hope you are set free, because it is truly beautiful on the otherside. You just have to do the work! Review: Fascinating - A GRIPPING READ. I was able to match many of the incidents described in this book with events during my childhood. It was interesting and helped me to understand some of my hangups now I'm an adult with a family of my own. In the end it was a comforting book because I felt proud that I had survived having a mother, who was the very scarey antithesis of my friends' mothers, and made a success of my life in spite of her. An excellent book which tackles a difficult subject with clarity and commonsense.
| Best Sellers Rank | #316,511 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #147 in Personality Disorders #545 in Psychology of Personality #626 in Psychological Pathologies |
| Customer Reviews | 4.7 out of 5 stars 716 Reviews |
T**N
Good follow up to anyone who has identified a parent as a narcissist
This book has been great! It is the closing chapter on my irritation and misery on this subject. This book has provided me with closure, it took me 33 years to put a name to this UGLY FACE. But I never stopped researching. And that is so important. This is an extremely well written book that does not bog you down with a bunch of clinical terms. It definately served to validate my current emotions, crazy childhood, and gave me the words to describe my fragmented teenage years. I mean this book is literaly a fairy GODmother to anyone looking for guidance and advice on such a complex issue. It covers everything from how others will react to you sharing this information, from grieving to dealing with anger and resentment. This book really shows you how to move out of the mindset of a victim or feeling like the bad person to allowing you to see that you are none of those things; you just had to put up with some overwhleming circumstances. I have coupled this book with counseling twice a month and I feel like a brand new person in just a few months. Now I am living my dreams, because I was able to clear the mental blockage and go forward. The excercises are great, but don't stop reading, just bc you have not completed them. For me, I have been journaling for about 3 years heavy now, so many of the journaling activities were things I had already discussed with myself, so I was able to just read straight through and do some activities that felt neccessary! My mother is BDP and I just remember feeling angry, frozen, misunderstood, and emotionally ran down during my teenage years. I put others before me, I was always in the midst of confusion she caused at church or in her circles. She would look to me like I knew what to do all the time? She was very lonely and always making me sad with a focus on very negative things. She was always looking for sympathy and attention. I felt like someone took the best years of my life, so I went to college, got a good job months later, and never came back home to live (although in state). I am blessed to be a successful woman with really nice things and a new outlook on life using my creative side now. I gave up being overly responsible for others, putting people first, denying my own needs, learned some boundaries with people, and dealt with love addiction issues. I'm single and better off now that I have worked on me, and I'm ready to move into other areas of my life. Considering marriage and kids as I avoided that just because I never felt like I never had my own life fully until now. My heart has been opened. I do not feel like I have to pretend to have everything under control, I am happy to say that I don't know things. I am happy that I conduct myself as "the adult" with my mother and I am no longer angry, overly sensitive, and baffled by her tricks/lies. I have become a model and leader to my family and friends just by learning how to react to my mother's nonsense instead of letting it get the Best of me. I am still working on forgiveness, but at this point in my life I am managing and GOD has bought back the years of my childhood! Please! If you have a parent(s) that wears you down with guilt, in their own world, suffers from any type of addiction, this book will show you how to begin to parent yourself, and get you past your knee jerk reactions and confusion! GOD BLESS YOU and I hope you are set free, because it is truly beautiful on the otherside. You just have to do the work!
K**R
Fascinating
A GRIPPING READ. I was able to match many of the incidents described in this book with events during my childhood. It was interesting and helped me to understand some of my hangups now I'm an adult with a family of my own. In the end it was a comforting book because I felt proud that I had survived having a mother, who was the very scarey antithesis of my friends' mothers, and made a success of my life in spite of her. An excellent book which tackles a difficult subject with clarity and commonsense.
R**.
Great book!
Took me some months to read because it was hard for me to overcome my past (and even my present). It's a great book and I highly recommend it to anyone with a BPD parent.
N**A
also recommended for partners of people of borderline parents
It is a very well written book but, have to addmit, it is not easy to read it. I would also recomend this book for people who did not face borderline parent but are having a partner who did. It would help to understand what your partner is going through and find a better dialogue.
S**E
Must have
I say that a lot - "must have," but for sufferers, family members, friends and the curious, there is simply no good information on dealing with BPD. I may have had a borderline parent (back then, BPD wasn't recognized) but I really picked this up just to try and expand my knowledge on the subject. It served the purpose. Can I say it's a survival guide? Don't know - I'm the sufferer, not the outsider, and in my experience both see things differently. However, I can say that with a disease as multi-dimensional as BPD the best advice I have is to absorb everything you can, and apply what is relevant to your situation. No two BPD patients are the same, and some are almost opposites. If you have BPD or love someone who does, this is definitely one to have, but don't stop here. I have yet to find the BPD book that really "nails" it from my perspective, YMMV.
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