What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys: Revised Edition

I wish this book could be sent to every student in an American medical school. I also wish my parents could have read it. How heartening and refreshing to read a book that addresses the male foreskin with such rich and lucid detail. If expectant American parents (and American doctors) read this book’s explanation of this marvelous skin system, I think the US circumcision rate would fall much faster than it’s already falling. Here are some highlights from the book. DON’T FORCE RETRACTION “The foreskin should never be forced to retract!” the authors say. Correct! This can be extraordinarily painful for a boy. The foreskin is fused to the head of the penis for years after a boy is born (like the female foreskin (hood) is fused to the head of the clitoris). This is one of the many reasons infant circumcision is so painful: the foreskin has to be torn away from the head of the penis (the most sensitive part of the male genitals) before it can be cut off. FORESKIN ANATOMY AND SEXUAL PLEASURE The anatomy discussion is especially strong, telling the reader about the structure of the foreskin, its function, and its role in sexual pleasure. IGNORANCE; WHY WE KEEP DOING TO BOYS WHAT WE’D NEVER DO TO GIRLS I was particularly impressed by the section captioned “HANGING ON TO YOUR FORESKIN.” It did a laudable job explaining the ignorance that surrounds circumcision and the foreskin in the US. And it clearly addressed the number one reason boys are circumcised: because Daddy is. (This is just like cultures that have female cutting rituals: Mom was cut, so daughter “must” be too.) To all cut dads: consider this as one of your first acts of love for your son: leave him as nature designed him. FORESKIN PROBLEMS ARE RARE - AND OFTEN TREATABLE WITHOUT BLADES The authors note that doctors are frequently ready to treat ANY foreskin problem with circumcision, apparently not acknowledging (or maybe not knowing) that there are often far less invasive solutions than circumcision. Indeed, it sometimes seems that no one knows less about the foreskin than an American doctor. CIRCUMCISION IS PAINFUL FOR BABIES “Today we know that the operation isn’t painless.” This is an understatement by the authors, to be sure; but it’s also an antidote to the “little snip”/“he’ll sleep through it” frauds pushed on parents. CIRCUMCISION USUALLY LEAVES SCARS Applause to the authors for showing a picture of the circumcision scar and for talking about it. Indeed, it seems wrong to cut scars into another person’s body. Especially their genitals. INTACT, NOT “UNCIRCUMCISED” Here’s my only critique. If there is another edition of this book in the future (and I certainly hope there will be), please don’t use the word “uncircumcised.” This word is offensive to many intact men, implying, as it does, that their penis isn’t quite finished - that it needs a procedure that, once completed, will make it a proper penis. (Imagine a woman in a snug bikini bottom being told that she is “unlabiaplastied.”) INTACT is the correct word for a boy who hasn’t been violated by the religio-cultural ritual of circumcision. Applause and gratitude to the Madaras ladies for an exceptionally good treatment of an exquisite piece of male anatomy that is as misunderstood in this country as it is abused.

This book, and its counterpart (The What's Happening to My Body Book for Girls) are absolute necessities for any parent, with children from age eight to probably age thirteen or fourteen. No matter how open, honest and sex positive we are with our children, talking about all of these topics can be awkward, tense, and difficult to navigate for parents, and embarrassing, or boring, for kids. This book helps with all of those issues. It addresses the snicker-worthy slang terms in the first chapter, and gets your child accustomed to hearing all of the anatomical terms for the reproductive organs and their component parts. This eases the tension, and helps to keep the focus where it belongs - on preparing your child for the changes puberty will likely cause in their bodies, as well as all the social, physical, and emotional aspects of sexuality. Counting the girls' version of the book, this is the fourth copy I've purchased. I buy one for anyone I know who has a child coming towards the end of his or her elementary school years, and into pubescence. I recommend a read through on your own, first. Depending on your child's age, there are some chapters you may wish to hold in reserve for a later stage of development. I also recommend reading it together. It should be a conversation STARTER, not a replacement. With my eldest, we read a chapter together every night, and I always allotted plenty of time for questions and answers before, during, and after the reading. This book helped me to raise one sex positive, well adjusted, (now) older teenager, capable of setting their own boundaries, and of respecting those of other people, without having internalized the stigma so much of Western culture places on sex and sexuality.

I ordered this book to potentially share with my 11 1/2 year old who is finishing 5th grade. He's pretty innocent, much more then I was at that age! He is in no rush to grow up and in many ways still wants to be a little boy; I think he will be a "late bloomer." However I have noticed a change in attitude, privacy concerns, sleep patterns, etc... and that tells me it's coming! We live in a very small rural town- one school k-12 with roughly 200 kids total, so the little kids ride the bus with the teens, and are very much integrated and I know for a fact that he has already been exposed to some of the ideas and language being discussed in this book. And then there is the internet, where everything and anything is a click away. So, I figured it is best to begin addressing this all sooner then later- like NOW. I ordered the paperback, and also the kindle version for a few bucks more, and read through that while I wait for the hard copy. Overall, the book is chock full of all the technical information you would need to know- I learned a lot about puberty that I never knew myself, and I'm fairly savvy! It is very, very wordy though, and reads like a resource text book, so right away I can say that my 11 year old will NOT read this on his own- he's not a very good reader and this is literally above his reading level and he would be overwhelmed- too much work. I will hold off and maybe have my husband read through some of the information with him a little at a time, starting with the boys and girls puberty and development sections- because that is what is happening around him right now! He told me the girls got a "puberty talk" last year in school, but nothing for the boys- what's up with that? They are going through it too, and leaving them in the dark is not okay and will only make them more nervous, anxious, and awkward around their peers. He's a very squeamish kid and will absolutely be a bit freaked out by some if the info- but I still think it's all totally appropriate for him to know. He's super bright and intuitive so I think he should know this stuff because I don't want him to be confused and embarrassed by the words and ideas he's already hearing- he should know what it all actually means and what is going on! I have no problem with the content in this book- slang words or otherwise. He's very sensitive and knows that words are very powerful and hurtful. He will be that kid who intervenes and says something when other kids use these words- telling them it's not ok. Also, I did not find even one mention of anal sex, or oral sex in the book- so I'm not sure what some of the negative reviewers are talking about. It describes homosexuality in a general way as sexual feelings and activity with the same sex- I found no specifics. Even the sexual intercourse description was not overly descriptive, IMO. I'm surprised that there is no oral sex mentioned actually and believe it should absolutely be covered! That was one of the MAJOR topics of conversation I remember at that age, and there was a lot of pressure to engage in that right away- way before actual sexual intercourse! About the only thing I was even slightly uncomfortable with was the mention of boys masturbating together, because while I agree that this is totally normal, innocent and even acceptable in certain circumstances, it is a VERY gray area that can easily make one child uncomfortable and become inappropriate. Plus, an older child could easily be "grooming" a younger child for potential abuse(also not discussed). If you do nothing else make sure you discuss this scenario with your kid! I do think this book is in desperate need of an update- this revised edition seems to be from 2007, and a lot has happened in 10 years! The author is clearly older, and a lot of the language is pretty dated- for example she refers to "necking"- who the heck uses that term anymore? That was dated when I was a teen in the 90's! It really read like a grandma teaching a sex ed class- sorry Lynda. Kids are much more advanced and there are many sexual situations involving technology that did not exist and are not covered at all. There is a very brief note about the internet in the end- but nothing about social media, sexting, snap-chat, etc...these are the platforms that kids are using to explore sexuality and it is completely absent in this book. Overall- a good reference book, and my husband and I will certainly share parts of this with our son right away, and will probably give him free reign with it when he indicates that he is ready to read it on his own. I have a feeling he will one day use this book to educate a future girlfriend who was NOT properly or thoroughly educated herself! And that seems totally okay with me. I am all about empowering our youth with accurate information.

Got this updated edition for my 9 year old son. I am 39. My dad got me the older version many years ago. My only complaint is that they took out some of the old pictures that actually showed a DRAWING of sexual intercourse. The whole reason I bought the book was to teach my son about puberty and sex in a purely educational way. An all in one. Teaching him morals is my job. That said, it is a good book for teaching young children. Parents should read it with their kids first thought. It is honest about STDs. It does not try to scare kids, but that chapter can be scary. Also, big medical words for kids. All in all a good teaching book.

I bought this book in the girl version as well and find them very informative. They tell it like it is. There are slang terms but from our experience those words fly all over the school so it isn't a big shocker. It has diagrams that name the parts and why not teach the correct terms to our kids. I would think if you have a child that reads this book and still has questions regarding sex then they need to re-read it. It is easy to understand for a child. Teaches the beginning of puberty straight through. It does discuss relationships between the same sex and if you have a child that is attracted to a person of the same sex they will find that there isn't something "wrong" with them. It is what it is! If you can't deal with this part tear it out. They are who they are. I read these books to my kids in sections as I thought appropriate for their age. Just be a parent and have control. Better to teach them yourself rather than them getting misinformed by kids at school and as I have found out, I'm behind on what I thought was age appropriate. My son comes home with stuff I didn't know about until high school, he's a middle schooler. Eleven years & up as the internet will teach them if you don't.

We bought three books about puberty for our 11 year old son. I will post this comment under all three books. The books are The Boy’s Body Book, Third Edition: Everything You Need to Know for Growing up YOU by Kelli Dunham, RN; The “What’s Happening to My Body?” Book for Boys. Revised Edition by Lynda Madaras with Area Madaras and It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health (The Family Library) by Robie H. Harris. My son read all three books, so I asked him for his feedback on each book and this is what he said. He found the It’s Perfectly Normal book to be “more comic’y and less squeamish.” He found the Bird and the Bee characters thru-out the book to be “really funny.” It’s Perfectly Normal contained the most information about sexual intercourse whereas The Boy’s Body Book and What’s Happening to My Body have more about health. The What’s Happening to My Body book contained “more anatomically correct drawings.” It also has a section about being uncircumcized and how to take care of your foreskin. The Boy’s Body Book is “fine,” but “it doesn’t really talk about sex and genital changes.” It doesn’t go into as much detail as the other two books. It does however have more content on older teens, curfew, chores, siblings and divorce. It also has a brief section on what to do if someone tries to touch you inappropriately. The Boy’s Body Book also doesn’t have a section about girls’ bodies, but both What’s Happening to My Body and It’s Perfectly Normal do have sections about girls. Overall, if parents want a book that is more about emotions, then he recommends the Boy’s Body Book; and if parents want a book that is more detailed about sex and genital changes, then he recommends What’s Happening to My Body or It’s Perfectly Normal.

I took a look at four books on puberty and reproduction with the help of my children, ages 7, 12, and 15. The books are Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole; What's Happening to My Body by Lynda Madaras, a title which has both a girl book and a boy book; and two books by Robie H. Harris, It's So Amazing and It's Perfectly Normal. I'll paste this review for all four books since it contains comparisons. We are keeping Cole's book, still considering Madaras's book, and returning Harris's two books. My favorite of the four books is Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole of Magic School Bus fame, and I confess that it led me to think of a number of inappropriate MSB titles for it that made me snicker like the target age group. But I digress. This book is written in simple question and answer format under different sections. For instance, early in the book, there is a heading Finding Out About Sex with two questions: Is it normal to be curious about growing up? and Is it okay to ask about sex? With these questions, she simply answers that yes, it's perfectly normal, without falling into the pitfall that other books on puberty and reproduction can fall into, making children self-conscious and embarrassed with their constant stressing of how self-conscious and embarrassed the child probably is. Instead, the matter-of-fact tone assures children that it's all good. Asking About Sex and Growing Up covers the questions simply in a conversational tone and seems largely unbiased to me. For instance, in many of the questions, she mentions different points of view, such as how some people are opposed to sex before marriage while others disagree. This leaves room for parents to further discuss these issues in light of their own beliefs. This book does discuss abortion, but I felt that Cole kept her bias on this topic to herself, too. After reading her answers to four different questions about abortion, I'm not sure what she personally believes about it, which is as it should be in an educational children's book. She also covers topics like sexual abuse and STDs. I also love that she has a section stating that the most important thing to know about sex is respecting both oneself and others. Overall, I really like this book. I like that it is not specific to either boys or girls, instead covering all the information for both sexes. I also feel like it could be used for either secular or religious households because she does maintain a respectful understanding that people of different beliefs feel differently about many of these topics. Second place goes to What's Happening to My Body, though I'm still not 100% sure about this one for reasons I'll explain. First, I'll comment on the positives. One of the things that I particularly like about this one is the inclusion of quotations at the beginning of each section from different adults who have completely different points of view. For instance, the first chapter begins with four quotes about puberty from four adult men who all had different opinions on what puberty was like for them. I think that can be helpful to let children know that whatever they think of what their bodies are doing, it's okay. Like Cole's book, this book is really detailed and goes into all kinds of topics, including masturbation. Both Cole and Madaras are matter-of-fact about this issue and assure kids that it's not harmful and, most importantly, that there's not anything wrong with them if they do so. And since I mentioned this topic in the reviews for the other books, I'll mention that this book does not discuss abortion at all though there is information about abortion and Planned Parenthood in the Resources section. I am confused at some of the negative reviews, however. Many of the topics, including slang words for genitals, that people reported do not seem to be in my edition of this book. However, other topics are present that I'm disturbed by. I'm not convinced that the book needed to include a discussion of hymens, blue balls, or boys masturbating together. Because of these topics, I might let my 15 year old son read the book, but I would not let my 12 year old read this one. I expected the Robie H. Harris books to be preferred by my children because of the simple, cartoon style of the books. However, none of my children cared for these books at all. The older two said that What's Happening to My Body was far more detailed--they didn't always appreciate the extra details, but they agreed that if we're reading books for information, more details beat fewer. They also simply didn't find the two cartoon characters at all amusing and questioned their inclusion. Their preference is why we chose against these books. However, I have my own issues with these books, and that issue is in the bias. Don't get me wrong here--I knew that It's Perfectly Normal contained information about abortion before we got it, and I felt that Cole's book mentioned above handled the topic well. That said, I particularly didn't like that this chapter is biased while pretending that it's not biased. The chapter begins by defining abortion as "a medical procedure performed for the purpose of ending a pregnancy," and it mentions that it can be an emotional decision. So far, so good. But this is followed by a full page speaking of abortion with positive descriptions and a long list of reasons people might want an abortion. Another page and a half is devoted to discussion of court cases and laws. And in one single paragraph, children are told that some people think abortion should be illegal, that they believe "that an embryo or fetus has a right to life--a right to grow in a woman's body and to be born whether or not that woman wants to have a baby." So, emphatically not unbiased. As this is a book for the education of children, and the cover states that the book is for ages 10 and up, I personally feel like the discussion about abortion could have just had the first paragraph--it's a medical procedure that ends a pregnancy and people's feelings about it are not always simple. No more is necessary for the stated age group. Even worse, she mentions that sometimes an abortion happens on its own, which is called a miscarriage or spontaneous abortion. That may be accurate, but equating a miscarriage with the medical procedure in a book written for 10 year olds is out of line. I was also disgusted to see it mentioned in It's So Amazing, which is for ages 7 and up. This one has only a paragraph about abortion, but even that is inappropriate for the age group in my opinion, and this page, which also discusses adoption, ends with the cartoon characters agreeing that they "like to have lots of choices." So in the end, I agreed with my children regarding the amount of information contained in these books compared to the others, and I also dislike them for these additional reasons. In the Cole review, I mentioned a common pitfall of puberty and reproduction books, that of potentially making children self-conscious about the subject by harping on how the reader is probably self-conscious. All four of these books avoid this pitfall. One thing that I did like about Harris's books (even though my children didn't) is the cartoon characters, specifically that the bird is excited and wants to know more while the bee seems to feel like the entire subject is TMI. All of these books attempt to make it clear that a child's feelings about this subject are fine, regardless of what those feelings are, and I imagine that they are largely successful.

After reading the reviews for this book (both the good and the "not so good"), i decided to buy it for my 12 years old son, with the understanding that it is best for me to participate in the reading process, not to drop the book in the kid's lap and leave. I am vety pleased with the results. By following the book together, we had the opportunity to discuss the contents, answer questions about the different topics, and understand how far off my son or daughter was in terms of his previous understanding f the topic. Yes, it has some graphic content, and some topics might be controversial, but as long as the adult drives the discussion and the book review, everything will be fine. The fact that the book is detailed actually helps, as there were actually a couple of topics I would have not had the chance to explain fluently without using the book as a guide. I highly recommend using this book as a guide to have a good discussion with your kids.

Excellent book for prepubescent and pubescent kids. Uses correct terminology for body parts and contains a ton of information. I read the girls’ version before I started puberty and really liked it.

Great book, my kid has read it several times and has left post-its all over for quick reference. It lead to many interesting conversations and has helped him feel more confident about his body.

I bought this book from Amazon, expecting it to be suitable for teenagers as the title suggests — “What’s Happening to My Body?”. However, the content does not match the purpose indicated by the title. Instead of focusing mainly on explaining normal body changes in teenagers, the book goes into detailed descriptions of sexual intercourse right from the beginning. Moreover, although this edition is meant for boys, it contains detailed explanations and illustrations of female body parts, which I feel are unnecessary for boys aged 13–15. This content might be more suitable for young adults above 18, but not for early teens.

This is a classic 'must read' for teen/pre-teen boys with some important contemporary additions about equity, etc. It is hard to get teens to talk about puberty, so this book gives them access to good information without feeling embarassed to ask.

Good, informative book- I bought it for my 11 yr old boy having found the girl version well-thumbed by my daughter (though she'd never admit it!) I read it & liked it, but my now 12 yr old son hasn't looked at it much yet (as far as I know!) I'm happy to have it lying around for when he needs it- I learned a thing or two as well (despite being married to a man for 24 yrs!)