Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss, 20th Anniversary Edition

Great book really helped me with the loss of my mum

Absolutely love this book. I lost my Mum when I was 3 (nearly 4) I started therapy last year and feel like I finally had someone to talk to about my mum, & was able to start my grieving journey properly. I’ve wanted to feel close to her and understood, and that’s what this book does. I’m only 40 pages in & I can’t stop reading ❤️

I can only echo a lot of what the other reviewers have said about this fantastic book. It is very thorough and well written and the best I have read about bereavement of a mother. It is very detailed and not wishy washy which a lot of books of this type can be. I would recommend it to women who have lost a mother and to the fathers who are left behind who may want a bit of insight into what their daughters may encounter in the grieving process. Some of my friends, who are counsellors and doctors, have read this and are recommending it to their patients.

This is my first book review ever, but I feel a duty to share my impressions about this great book, which would have been invaluable to me 16 years ago, when I lost my Mother. As the book title implies, you would expect many sad stories of girls and adult women, who lost their mothers at a young age, and how hard a life they had. Certainly, you will find plenty of tearful examples; however the book is not written with the intention of making you cry. Just the opposite - it makes some important points: yes, your Mother died when you were very young, and you are one of those unlucky 5 % of population to experience an early loss, and to face far more challenges in your life than normal; however you can do something constructive with your life, as your Mother would have wished. Surprisingly the author highlights a few positive aspects connected with this loss, e.g. such women usually are more responsible, successful, and creative, etc. In the book motherless daughters are compared to a female phoenix, a mythical sacred fire bird which can be reborn from its own ashes. Isn't it a nice metaphor?

Such a valuable book for all motherless daughters everywhere. Hope writes my thoughts so eloquently and seems to speak what I have t been able to say for many many years. I’ve found her book at an important and pivotal time in my life.

The examples are sometimes lengthy and wordy. The content is quite similar in parts and in my experience this book is targeted at daughters who lost their mother early in life and I have struggled to find relatable content to my own scenario - lost my father in adolescence, mother suffered ill health for many years and we were anticipating her death for a long time and how we have felt since her death has been a surprise, I was hoping to find some answers and reassurance but sadly not through this book

Very good book with some good points.

LOVED THIS BOOK. It is a discussion about every situation that you could go through when losing your mum and it really felt I wasn't so alone in the world. I've bought this book twice as didn't want to give my copy away to a friend. Would recommend to anyone who has lost their mother no matter what situation

Tough read. But a must read for those who have lost their mothers. I only wish I had come across this book before. It helped put a lot of emotions in words and also understand how I was actually grieving when I thought I wasn't. It also helped me understand exactly how an event like that has changed me singularly since. Highly recommend.

First of all, thank you! This book has helped me so much. I’ve lost my mother when I was 6 and I could relate to so many experiences, thoughts and feelings from other motherless daughters described in this book. Characteristics I didn’t even know you could develop after losing your mother at a young age. It’s the first time in my healing journey I felt seen and understood. I didn’t feel crazy or alone. I must’ve highlighted half of the book so I can take these with me while I continue on this motherless journey.

I found this book as an adult when I was able to recognize how deeply my grandmother's death defined my mother. For my mom losing her mom at 12 meant she lost the person who was there to guide her, help her get through puberty, become a woman, learn to use makeup, took her to the doctor and the loss of having a parent to care for her and about her life. The loss of her mother as a kind and loving person was bad enough, she also lost all forms of parental support. This presented it's own set of challenges. My mom was smart and learned to fend for herself with the alcoholic parent she had left and his second wife (whom grandfather married 36 hours after my grandmother died) who was an alcoholic who abused her own children. My mom was bright, finished High School at 16 then moved in with her Grandmother, Aunt and Uncle. It was a better place for her, she put herself through secretarial college went to work, found love married at 18 and had a family. As her daughter, I could see how my grandmother's death still affected her. She always had to know where we were at every moment. It was hard for me to understand why she worried so and saw danger everywhere. I never felt alone, as if I had to fend for myself, lost, as if I had no one to guide me. She did and she felt guilty that she did not know more things to teach me. She was always worried that she was not a good mother because she did not know what mothering meant, beyond her own point of reference, past the age of 12. A college friend who lost her mom at 12 recommended this book, I read it and thought my mom should read it too. I got her a copy and we read it together and had many conversations about this topic. She decided to go to a therapist I went with her and she continued and this wonderful act of self-care helped her to heal. She still missed her mother but she was able to address many aspects of that loss and this book was the beginning of the journey. I wanted to share because if you lost a mom around puberty or your mom did this book can give you insights into that loss. Beyond that, it can also lend an understanding of how the loss of your mom at that age can define the person a girl becomes in the aftermath. For us this was helpful, we were able to define the event that shaped mom's life and our relationship, we were able to talk about it, we determined to find out what would help us to work out our plan to address "it" and we came out better. Better for my mom was happier, feeling proud of finding a way forward without a mother to guide her instead of feeling defeated and lost because her mom was not there. Better for me was to understand why she mothered that way and to reassure her that I only knew the love and joy of having a mom, not the feeling of being cheated in some way. I was a better daughter, she was a better mother, and our mother-daughter dynamic was better. I don't know if this is what every woman grieving the loss of her mother should read, but if you lost your mom in adolescence this is worth a try. If you lost your mom around puberty as a daughter of someone who had that experience this book may help. I wish you peace and healing.

Book is great, but book depostory delivery/shipping is crap

I lost my mom 12 1/2 years ago. If you know anyone who is grieving for the loss of their mom, or you are, please give them this book. It is a gentle, insightful and comforting read. The author validate your feelings and helps you realize that it’s OK and normal to grieve the way you are grieving. I’ve given my copy away and bought it for others.