Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
Product ID: 667251804
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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of Come as You Are and co-author of Burnout comes an illuminating exploration of how to maintain a happy sex life in a long-term relationship. “Emily Nagoski is a national treasure—helping us all understand how to finally build true, joyful, confident sex lives.”—Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed In Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD, revolutionized the way we think about women’s sexuality. Now, in Come Together, Nagoski takes on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term relationships. Most of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on what to do about it. In this book, Nagoski dispels the myths we’ve been taught about sex—for instance, the belief that sexual satisfaction and desire are highest at the beginning of a relationship and that they inevitably decline the longer that relationship lasts. Nagoski assures us that’s not true. So, what is true? Come Together isn’t about how much we want sex, or how often we’re having it; it’s about whether we like the sex we’re having. Nagoski breaks down the obstacles that impede us from enjoying sex—from stress and body image to relationship difficulties and gendered beliefs about how sex “should” be—and presents the best ways to overcome them. You’ll learn: • that “spontaneous desire” is not the kind of desire to strive for if you want to have great sex for decades • vocabulary for talking with partners about ways to get in “the mood” and how to not take it personally when “the mood” is nowhere to be found • how to understand your own and your partner’s “emotional floorplan,” so that you have a blueprint for how to get to a sexy state of mind Written with scientific rigor, humor, and compassion, Nagoski shows us what great sex can look like, how to create it in our own lives, and what to do when struggles arise. Review: The Owner’s Manual for Shared Journeys - We’ve had Come Together for just 3 weeks (it arrived 2 days after its January 30th release), and it already feels like it should be in the kitchen with the cookbooks. Emily has the rare quality of making complex, science-based, yet very hands-on strategies and practices feel like they come straight from her heart to yours. The book has the same super-easy-access structure as her bestseller, Come as You Are, which, a decade after its publication, is still the reigning authority on women’s sexuality. If I had to pick just one piece from the book to pass on, it’d probably have to be “Pleasure is the Measure.” That simple-seeming coinage, not sex itself, not any of the myriad issues shared life involves, cuts through so many thickets: do you and your partner bring pleasure to your partner's life and to your own? Can your relationship - despite health crises, financial challenges, childrearing, work demands, lost socks, and a thousand distractions - nurture a mutual joy in living? We need this book. There’s a pretty good chance you do too. Review: Hopeful and Practical for Long-term Relationships - Or for those who wish to be in one—I gave this five stars because I loved the idea of using emotional floor plans and making context (as well as pleasure) central in creating long-lasting nurturing relationships. I also appreciate her normalizing dry spells. I also liked how this wasn’t a book just about the physical, but about enriching our relationships.
| Best Sellers Rank | #9,340 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #7 in General Sexual Health #9 in Sex & Sexuality #38 in Marriage |
| Customer Reviews | 4.4 out of 5 stars 612 Reviews |
W**E
The Owner’s Manual for Shared Journeys
We’ve had Come Together for just 3 weeks (it arrived 2 days after its January 30th release), and it already feels like it should be in the kitchen with the cookbooks. Emily has the rare quality of making complex, science-based, yet very hands-on strategies and practices feel like they come straight from her heart to yours. The book has the same super-easy-access structure as her bestseller, Come as You Are, which, a decade after its publication, is still the reigning authority on women’s sexuality. If I had to pick just one piece from the book to pass on, it’d probably have to be “Pleasure is the Measure.” That simple-seeming coinage, not sex itself, not any of the myriad issues shared life involves, cuts through so many thickets: do you and your partner bring pleasure to your partner's life and to your own? Can your relationship - despite health crises, financial challenges, childrearing, work demands, lost socks, and a thousand distractions - nurture a mutual joy in living? We need this book. There’s a pretty good chance you do too.
K**N
Hopeful and Practical for Long-term Relationships
Or for those who wish to be in one—I gave this five stars because I loved the idea of using emotional floor plans and making context (as well as pleasure) central in creating long-lasting nurturing relationships. I also appreciate her normalizing dry spells. I also liked how this wasn’t a book just about the physical, but about enriching our relationships.
E**Y
Amazing read!
Every couple should read this. Emily uses easy to understand dialogue to break down intimacy road bumps in relationships. I read this together with my spouse to get the most out of the book.
M**N
Informative
Emily Nagoski with another excellent book
K**K
Worth Reading
If I am honest, Nagoski’s book Come Together: The Science (and Art) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections did not resonate with me as much as I had hoped. So then why did I rate her book five stars? I suspect that if a group of people were to read her book and discuss it, most would find that it spoke to them. I tend to think a little differently than most. If this topic interests you, go ahead and read her book. Even if something doesn’t resonate with me today, tomorrow it might. And I enjoy reading books that cause me think differently or expose to how others think.
A**S
Helpful ideas but flawed logic
The author clearly doesn’t want to have seggs with her partner and uses disproven “facts” to try and prove her point instead of stating these are clearly just her opinions. However, I did find some helpful suggestions, and love the visual idea of drawing a “house” that represents how you access your pleasure. I would say it’s a beneficial read for communication in relationships, but be aware if you have a high seggs drive the beginning of this book could be upsetting and feel like you’re being shamed for who you are (skip ahead if needed).
R**T
Incredible synthesis and roadmap.
so grateful for this book synthesizing the best voices in the field AND conjuring tried and true things that will affect your romantic life.
O**3
Virtually the practical, perfect self-help book
The author thinks like me, writes clearly and logically, and goes down all the likely paths in exploring the problem and then goes into the “how to” steps to take to achieve the goal embedded in the book’s title. This book most likely will , in time and with dedicated, thoughtful work, change my wife’s and my life! Thank you so much, Emily
F**A
Das Beziehungsbuch!
Mind changing - gut geschrieben, gut recherchiert.
M**N
Love this book!
Always looking to be a better partner and improve my relationship and super happy I got hold of this book before we had any issues.
A**R
Fantastic author
Well written, informative.
R**M
This is a fake and pirated book.
This is a pirated book and the color of its pages is dirty.
L**R
Best sex therapy book for couples
Loved learning more about the importance of context in long term sexual relationships. Should be required reading for every couple. Bought this as a wedding gift.
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