Kill Switch (Devil's Night) Paperback – February 11, 2019

"She was mine. In our secluded, secret little world, she was mine. I wanted to watch her dance, and I wanted to steal her away a thousand more times to feel her excitement and fear and live through how vulnerable and sweet she was, but... I wanted to keep her happy, pure, and innocent, too. I didn't want to ruin her."This read through was just as profound as the last read through. I wondered if listening via an audiobook would throw me off but it actually fit really well for this book.Damon is a true anti hero. Villain of the prior two books with what seemed like a bleak chance of coming back. I mean he went to jail for sleeping with Winter while she was underage, almost killed his best friend by drowning him, attempted to hurt Rika and although his intentions were good he completely abused Banks during her most formative years. And that's not even close to the full list, just some of his more notable abuses. I knew we were building up to his book in both Corrupt and Hideaway but I truly wondered if he could be redeemed. I can't really say he was redeemed but honestly I don't care. Damon was still the same man he was in the prior two books. His morals are undoubtedly questionable, he doesn't care much for justifications and he shames those around him to mask his own pain. Even still, I adore Damon. He'd probably get rid of me for characterizing him with such a fluffy word but he is such a complex and deep character. Through flashbacks we start to understand why Damon is the way he is but without excusing his behavior. Again, this is a dark romance so if you are looking for hero's or redeemable villains this might not be the book for you."Being with him was like dancing. Dancing with death."Okay so Rika in Corrupt was whatever, Banks in Hideaway is my ultimate girl crush but Winter, phew I forgot just how incredible Winter is. Winter is pure and innocent and strong of mind but she didn't stand a chance with Damon and yet she did. Winter is blind and so she literally sees/doesn't see the world differently than most of us. Damon is the reason Winter is blind. I love that her disability wasn't sugarcoated. Damon wanted to hurt Winter and Winter wanted to be loved and couldn't rid herself of a time when Damon gave everything good in himself to her. Winter understood Damon in a way no one else did and in a sense, Winter was Damon's peace even though he was her storm.“He made himself the cure, which wouldn’t have been necessary if he hadn’t also created the disease.”The passion and connection between Damon and Winter was undeniable, it was everything I wanted when I read Corrupt and felt Michael and Rika lacked. Their connection was toxic but it was also healing. Damon was depraved, by far the worst of the horsemen, but then we also saw how he was towards Winter while they were together. We also saw it in his interactions with Banks, Rika and Will. Damon is wired differently and he doesn't connect the way most of us do due to his trauma in his childhood. I could go on and on about this book because of all the complexities and connections but at the core is a traumatic love story filled with depraved men growing up from the boys they once were, and the women who love them despite their depravity.“Because pain in the body quiets the pain in the head. It feels good, like a kill switch for your brain.”

Obsessed with this series. I will say this book made me uncomfortable, when the first two didn’t as much. But definitely full of action and mystery and that twist ending had me shook!

I'm not a huge 5 star reviewer. I once read something someone wrote about how they review and how they only give 5 stars if they feel like it changed them. I wouldn't say that this book "changed' me in the way I think people think "change" means, like their whole life is different. But this book slayed me in the best way.The whole Devil's Night series is so good. It's not your typical series. It's not romantic and not all scary but it leaves you on the edge, with just enough passion to draw you in. The first two books were awesome. I remember holding off on reading Corrupt because it didn't seem like my kind of book. But once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down and now have a love for the series and their characters.Speaking of characters, they are all flawed in some way. None are the typical happy-go-lucky teenagers or angst driven ones either. They all have deep scars brought on by their families and society. But you connect to some and you just love to either love or hate the others.No Damon. I never had a soft spot for him. I actually did not like him in Corrupt and then in Hideaway felt my heart go out to him (but only for a little while). And while he doesn't back away from his crazy,messed-up self in Kill Switch, you see another side of him. You start to find out his back story and see his early interactions with Winter. By the end of the book he became my favorite character. Deeply flawed but changing. You see his passion and respect for those he loves and how he defends them with his life. You see how he turned out the way he did and can see that he could have been so different had he been surrounded by people who actually cared about him growing up.Then you have Winter. She has a disability but doesn't let it slow her down. You see her fight to be taken seriously and you also see her fear. She lets her emotions run their course and but doesn't back down from a fight. I loved reading about how she "sees" the world (or hears I guess) but how she perceives the world through her other senses. I loved seeing her growth and how she slowly found her place in the group.My favorite scenes were when the whole group was together, working together and enjoying each other. The Coldfield professor scene was hilarious and amazing and seeing them work together, seeing them have fun, was the best. I love seeing them being young and alive and interacting. And then my other favorite scenes was seeing Damon show his vulnerable sides, like in Winter's bedroom after the door incident. These scenes really drew me in and made me feel.I love that this book gave us so much from all the supporting characters from the other books while giving us all the backstory and new story of Damon and Winter. Seeing these two things weave together to give us a great book that I couldn't put down. The emotions the story stirred and the ways in which you hated and loved the characters gave me life. As soon as I was done reading, I went back to all my bookmarked areas and read them all over again (and then some).Another great book and with the sneak peek at Nightfall, I am left terribly wanting!!