Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy Paperback – May 1, 2019

Great book, easy to read and incredibly eye opening.

this author's take on emotional immature parents is truly something. I struggled with frustration and admittedly a self centered kinda take on why my relationship with my parent was a bit strained from my end but this help me with some perspective. just like we, the children, didn't ask to be here. neither did our parents. and when they became parents it was their first time doing it too. our entire lives are navigating first times and doing the best we can with what we have. if you are struggling inside yourself and its pointed at your parent or guardian then I recommend giving this a shot. I've shared this link with a few of my friends when I first started reading it to help with their own parent/child relationship. I will probably read this again when I become a parent to refresh on what I received and hope to not fall into the same habits.

[Disclosure: I’d known Dr. Gibson for twenty years before I retired to Texas in 2013. In Virginia, I used her monthly Tidewater Women column as a class handout. I love her clear writing and have purchased every book she has written.When I congratulated the author via email on her third book, she asked if I would review it despite my having no psychology training.]First, Dr. Gibson uses almost no jargon except for:• EI (emotionally immature)• EIP (emotionally immature person)• EIRS (emotionally immature relationship system)Second, she wrote this book for 1) the adult survivors of EI parents and for 2) everyone who encounters EIPs. EIPs are your family or societal self-centered, emotional bullies.I view relationships as having primal and rational parts, i.e., gut and thoughtful pieces. EIPs are self-serving primal (instinctive) beings. Their actions are dominating and hurtful, and they cause others to blame themselves for such bad treatment. Or as the author says, “Because EIPs insist on dominating and being the center of importance, they don’t leave room or resources for others to be fully themselves.”Dr. Gibson wrote this book to give the abused person 1) an understanding of EIPs and 2) ideas how to a) improve their own lives and b) reduce the EIP’s negative impact.On the first goal, the author writes, “My aim… is to give you a language for everything that goes on in EI relationships, both what happens between you and them, and what happens inside yourself as you try to cope with them. Once you can name it, you can deal with it.”Part I (Chapters 1-6) covers the messy and illogical nature of EIPs. The author avoids psychological talk but shows how multi-faceted EIP behavior is. Dr. Gibson repeatedly says it is not your fault you were born into or found yourself dealing with an EIP.Although I never had EI parents, I’ve had my difficulties with EIPs. Dr. Gibson’s Part II (Chapters 7-10), therefore, was worth the book’s price. She says, “Your ultimate recovery goal is to build a loyal, committed relationship to your own inner self and well-being. You’ll also learn how to transform your EI relationship into the best it can be (my emphasis), without sacrificing your integrity or blaming them.”In other words, the situation can’t be fixed, but it can be improved for yourself and with the EIP. There are no miracle cures, but instead; slow recovery. If the EIP is your mother, father, boss, or another person you need to deal with, the author’s suggestions are helpful. Remember, standard relationship rules and logic don’t work with EIPs.If you are the adult child of an EI parent, then the author also provides journaling activities for you to assess where you are now, what boundaries you need to set, and how to evaluate the new results you get. Working with EIPs, if they are family or otherwise, can be a lifelong journey. Dr. Gibson understands this unfortunate fact and has fashioned a book to improve your life!

One of the most important books you'll ever read. Even better than her first book, with more focus on what to do about it and how to heal. Empowering and validating.

This book has helped me understand my childhood. It has given me clarity and has helped my own personal growth. If you think you may have had a parent or caregiver that just didn't give the emotional support that you needed as a child, this will help you figure it out and help you understand thing that you do today as an adult. I won't say it will fix everything, but it will help you see things about yourself that you didn't know was a concern until you read about it. Keep an open mind when reading this book, not all parents are like this, but a lot are.

I previously read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents and I really recognized myself in it. It was a relief to finally got answers and some better understanding about my childhood and why I am the way I am today. I was hoping for new advices in this one but it's kind of similar to the other one, I still enjoyed reading it since I has been a while since I read the other one.

I hesitate when buying psych books- having a degree, I find that there is a lot of misinformation or outdated information in some trauma work books. But this one surprised me. It had up to date information which I agreed with, as well as insights that were not explicitly covered in my courses. It helped me see the immaturity levels in my family dynamics and understand better that I can choose to not let their problems become mine. I highly recommend and I plan to re read it.

All of the authors books on this subject are so valuable. After spending years in and out of therapy for trauma from being in a relationship with EI parents, it was a relief to find these books. The only thing I wish was included that I didn’t find was more information on and validation for those people who are exhausted from the emotional burden of trying to make it work and are ready to go no contact with EI parents. I felt like there was a lot of information on how to change yourself to “be” in a new way around them, bordering on parenting them. But I have done that my whole life and now I just want out. I wish there was more on dissolving the relationship. She briefly mentioned some people may choose to go no contact and then states that that has its toll.Having said that, this series from this author has been the most valuable resource I have come across on the subject. So grateful for her wisdom and understanding.