The Twelve Caesars

I've been reading various history/biography in between the fluff to keep my mind sharp and expand my knowledge of things I never learned or ignored while growing up. After many trips to Italy/Rome, I was curious about Roman history so I decided to check out Twelve Caesars. I did some research prior to purchasing this volume to make sure it wasn't going to be some dry, textbook history that would bore me to sleep. NO WAY! It's as engaging as any modern novel with quite a bit of salacious tidbits about the real life people of that time. It turns out much of what we know about the caesars and their families is thanks to Suetonius. The only complaints I have are 1) there aren't more details in some places (I understand some of this can be found or filled in through other historians of the time), 2) more of Suetonius' work is not available (because it was lost over time), and 3) the print is small (that is not a problem of the material at all--not sure if there are larger print versions, but if you need bigger print, bear this in mind). Don't skip reading the preface--it explains a lot about the translation and update of the translation, as well as why Suetonius did not go into depth describing events.

"The Twelve Caesars" is a history by Roman historian Suetonius, commissioned by the emperor Hadrian and completed in 121 AD, and this is the version translated by Robert Graves. Graves, who brilliantly ficitonalized Rome in "I, Claudius" and "Claudius the God" makes this version readable and clearly used this as part of his inspiration. This version in particular is very easy on the Rome novice; check the back of the book first, which has a glossary, a timeline, and maps of Rome. "The Twelve Caesars" is the Roman history of the first twelve emperors, the events that bring these guys to the stage, and the madness that ensues. The Roman Empire was really like no other in making sure that whoever was craziest got the most power and responsibility. If you love history as a case study for humans in power while at the margins of sanity, then this is the book for you. Seemingly for a while there only crazy people were getting the job, or were the only ones who would take the job. What were Roman citizens thinking? Was life really that boring that they were just like oh that's fine I guess we have a crazy Roman emperor, no big deal. Just like Enron brought out the avarice of commodities traders and Las Vegas brings out the libertine in us all, the absolute power of the Roman Empire made the crazy crazier. Power made Augustus brutally paranoid, made Tiberius bizarrely lecherous, and Nero an absolute monster. Caligula is just on a whole other level. If we made a graph with "craziness" on one axis and "power" on one side, Caligula would be so far up in the right hand corner that he might be off the chart completely. I can't imagine anyone coming close. At one point he began feuding with god Poseidon, had his army march into the ocean to battle the waves, and collected sea shells as spoils of war. He lined up a series of barges from one side of the bay to the other so he could ride his horse across the whole thing...thus scorning the god of water. It's good to have goals. Some other points to touch on. It's hard to imagine a person who accomplished more in their life than Augustus. Though gifted with a vast inheritance, by 20 he was commanding his own army against Mark Antony, then teamed up with Antony and another general (Lepidus), to take control of the whole Roman Empire - in the process condemning several hundred senators to death. By 32 he had fought several more civil wars before finally defeating Antony at the Battle of Actium. He also survived by my count like three shipwrecks, several military ambushes, dozens of battles, and countless assassination attempts. And also life as a Roman emperor, which must rate somewhere between Imperial Storm Trooper and Bond villain in terms of life expectancy while employed. Julius Caesar of course is well known for being the first emperor, but less well known for his bedroom conquests. Suetonius is not above gossip, Thank Jupiter, and is happy to recount Caesar's numerous affairs: for instance he is "said to have seduced" the wives of the other members of the Triumvirate (Crassus and Pompey), and the mother of Brutus (the man who killed him). That's basically akin to America's leading general having an affair with the President's wife and Bill Gate's wife. There were a couple of queens in there, and even the rumors of Caesar being the boy lover of the king of Bithynia. Most famously he fathered a child with Egyptian queen Cleopatra who he "feasted with until dawn." Fantastically Caesars's army actually co-opted his well known licentiousness, and would march to battle singing about the "bald whoremonger" who was leading them. Man! What a presidential slogan that would be! The trait of Caesar's that jumps off the page the most is his dogged determination. He runs up huge debts buying votes for a consulship; as a result he fled to Gaul to begin an incredibly brutal war to expand both his and Rome's wealth and power; when about to be prosecuted for his numerous crimes he invaded Italy and ignited a civil war. His whole life could be described as backing himself into corners, then improvising a solution. I would rate the best Roman emperors covered by Suetonius as: Augustus, Claudius, and then Tiberius (who while crazily twisted was quite a good administrator) and Caligula narrowly edging out Nero as the worst. Also Vespasian gets a shout out for being the empereror that rights the ship after Nero and his successors. He is also competent/boring enough there's barely anything in his chapter. Special shout out to him for out for best line on his death bed, upon seeing a comet: "Dear me! I must be turning into a god!" Someone once said that celebrity doesn't change you; instead, it's a truth serum. Being emperor of Rome was the greatest truth serum one can ever take. Take the drink and watch the madness drip in.

Pretty solid book overall. The little side stories were probably my favorite part, Suetonius loved including little details instead of all the obvious big stuff which was pretty cool. For example he delves into Julius Caesar's obsession with fortune tellers and Nero's crazy artistic performances inside his palace. I think it was interesting for the most part but at times I would find myself getting slightly lost with all the names and sometimes just in general with the flow of the story. At certain points he will just derail the linear style of the story telling and just start talking about the character of the person which is interesting but also feels a bit confusing at times. He also doesn't spare any details involving sexy stuff which could be good or bad I guess (Stef will like). I think the most interesting Caesars's are definitely the longest sections, so Julius Caesar, Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, and Nero. Honestly after those guys I can't even remember anything about the next couple Emperors. I think I was all Caesared out at that point. Suetonius himself is actually a pretty interesting dude. He served under Hadrian and got access to empirical archives which allowed him to make this book. So all his info is pretty accurate and he really doesn't leave any details out which is pretty cool I guess. Suetonius is also pretty cool because he delves into the weird little aspects and intricacies of each Emperor and even kind of like studies and analyzes them as a person which makes you feel like you get a full picture of the person. Overall Pretty cool, Paul approved.

Suetonius' Twelve Caesars belongs on the short list of books designed to bring active minds closer to the founding principles of Conservatism (along with Voltaire's Candide on the error of Utopian socialism and Orwell's Animal Farm: Anniversary Edition on the nature of political extremism. Suetonius wrote a gossipy, superstitious series of biographical sketches of the first twelve Roman Emperors that continues to fascinate to this day. Suetonius dishes the dirt on Rome's first twelve Emperors from Julius Caesar to Domitian. He informs us of the personal lives of the Emperors and the portents that seemed to predict their usually grisly deaths. The 19th century English historian, Lord Acton, once wrote, "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." Suetonius, living 1,900 years ago around the zenith of the Roman Empire, would surely have agreed. Suetonius was the private secretary to the Emperor Hadrian. His intimate portrayals of the Roman emperors demonstrate the corrupting influence of power. The Roman Emperors had absolute power over the lives of their subjects; they were also, with good reason, terrified of assassination. Their savage example provides the classic rationale for the necessity of limited central government. They were also the chief inspiration for Mussolini's fascist state. When master storytellers such as George Lucas and George R.R. Martin go looking for plot-lines it is to colorful histories like the Twelve Caesars that they turn. Star Wars' Galactic Federation devolves from Republic to Empire much like the Roman Republic. Game of Thrones has no more lust for power and erotic content than Suetonius' biographical sketches. Christopher Kelly is the author of America Invades: How We've Invaded or been Militarily Involved with almost Every Country on Earth and Italy Invades

This is a translation of the work by Suetonius who lived within a couple of generations of the events he describes. It covers the period between the end of the Republic and the Civil War, and the reign of the emperor Vespasian. This was the age of the Great Caesars, beginning with Julius, and includes Caligula, Nero and even more doubtful rulers of the Empire. As to accuracy, I cannot tell, but Graves thought of Suetonius as the most reliable of the contemporary historians. Suetonius sure had a bad case of superstition even for ancient Rome. This book is entertaining and covers a lot of ground in a relatively short volume. I enjoyed it.

I have been a lover of history since junior high school. I recently became interested in ancient history after reading the book by Robert Graves, "I, Claudius." Since then I've been fascinated by all the historical events from the ancient world that seem to parallel our society today. In "The Twelve Caesars" by Suetonius, the author--a contemporary of that time period--gives a detailed account of the first twelve caesars of the Roman Empire. The histories are not just some vague attempts that depict all the major achievements of these men and the positive impacts they had on history, but rather, the book exposes all the details of their lives both good and bad and to what effect it had on the empire. In want for a better comparison I would have to say that it's a cross between The Washington Post and The National Enquirer. The book includes a glossary of terms of phrases and events common to that time period that the average reader might not know about. I would highly recommend this book to anyone interested in ancient history or in history in general.

Readers should be aware that this edition includes commentary by an 18th Century translator following each chapter with no clear demarcation of where Suetonius ends and the translator begins. As the preface notes: "Of the English translations, that of Dr. Alexander Thomson, published in 1796, has been made the basis of the present. He informs us in his Preface, that a version of Suetonius was with him only a secondary object, his principal design being to form a just estimate of Roman literature, and to elucidate the state of government, and the manners of the times; for which the work of Suetonius seemed a fitting vehicle. Dr. Thomson's remarks appended to each successive reign, are reprinted nearly verbatim in the present edition." It's kind of an irritating thing for a translator to do--as if we're as interested in his 1,700-year-after-the-fact opinions as in those of Suetonius--and kind of an inexplicable choice on the part of the compiler of this edition not to set them off more clearly...or, better yet, eliminate them entirely. You might want to choose a different edition of this book, but if you do read this one, be aware that the musings on Latin literature are not part of the original work and may be skipped over with little loss.

Most versions of the Twelve Caesars are abridged. This is the entire work. Reading the unabridged edition was a revelation. It gave a very different view of the emperors than I got from the abridged version. The language of this translation is old fashioned but that didn't bother me. It's very clear. There are copious endnotes that are very helpful understanding cultural references.